Resilience Among Military-Connected Families
During peace and war, military spouses and military-connected families maintain a level of resilience that can push them to their limits. When accepting a life of active-duty or military connected careers, partners understand that the stress along that pathway is unique and can be unrelenting.
Speaking from personal experience, frequent relocations, which carry major themes of adjustment from losing and gaining friends, navigating new roads and grocery stores, wading through misinformation about legal documents, losing personal belongings and money through long-distance moves, new schools, new doctors, and sometimes learning a new language are among only a few challenges that can be associated with a military move. Navigating life in these new places while a spouse is deployed for extended periods often leave military partners feeling isolated, alone, and overwhelmed with managing a household, finances, and raising children.
At TELL, we offer individual, couple, and family support for those impacted by these major challenges. We often see families struggling to navigate life within the barriers of these challenges. Mental health struggles for those living this lifestyle include depression, anxiety, burnout, and grief, among many others.
Imagine living in daily fear for your partner’s physical safety, or worrying about when your next move will be. Imagine feeling the reserves of your patience and passion running dry as you alone are responsible for the caregiving in your home. Imagine struggling to maintain your sense of identity, having sacrificed your career, leaving your family and communities that made you feel secure. These are heavy burdens on the backs of military partners, spouses, and families that can cause a significant negative impact on relationships and communities. And surely, in the most heart-wrenching news, imagine finding out your service member has perished in the line of duty.
As these challenges are so often highlighted when discussing this community, we are sometimes asked, “Why would someone choose this life?”
The answer to that question is as diverse as the people who walk that path. If you have worked with or lived in this community, you understand that each military partner, spouse, and child, holds within them a shining resilience. Resilience is the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties. Our military-connected clients exude toughness, a resilience that is unmatched. The wisdom and resilience of military spouses is often showcased in our offices by their ability to simply ask for help when it is needed. They know how to lean in, when to step in the gap, and whom to rely on for the support that they might need. There is no shame in this – there is strength in vulnerability. You cannot ignore the display of passion bursting from those individuals who choose to step into the gap and sacrifice so much of themselves for a higher purpose. The drive to keep moving forward, to make the most of impossible circumstances, and to find joy in the small things is etched into the daily life of military spouses.
Victory is found not only in the winning of wars, but also in the small, simple connections of loved ones, reminding each other that they are not forgotten. It’s seen in the vulnerability of new friendships, young and old, and the thrill of walking outside of your comfort zone. Because our military connected partners and families understand that you cannot grow while you sit safely in your comfort zone. You will only reach your highest potential when you bravely step into the unknown. There is not a more welcoming and more supportive community than the military-connected one. With a deep understanding of the struggles each military connected spouse and family faces, they wrap each other up in care and support with a speed that leaves other communities falling short in comparison.
Despite this strength, the transition itself between one community to another can cause many military connected partners and families feeling isolated and alone. It is important to know that there are many supportive resources and organizations already in place that fight to make these challenges less painful, that aim to ease the burdens of this community and striveto make it more equitable.
Here is a brief list of some of those resources:
- Military OneSource which provides confidential counseling, resources, and information for military families.
- Military and Family Life Counseling (MFLC) are licensed counselors assigned to each military unit to offer free, confidential counseling services, including individual and family counseling, support groups, and workshops.
- Installation Clinics and Hospitals which provide access to mental health professionals and referrals to outside care at each military installation across the globe.
- Peer Support Groups, often found on social media, as a way to offer immediate and often anonymous support within a specific group or network.
- Veterans/Military Crisis Line, which provides 24/7 crisis support for military members, veterans, and their families.
- The American Red Cross, which offers support and training for families of deployed service members, and a lifeline in order to contact service members who are deployed with important information from their families if an emergency arises.
- The Secure Families Initiative is a non-profit organization which fights for the rights of military connected families in policy, organizing and training a diverse and representative base of military partners and family organizers to expand their impact on the foreign and domestic policies that affect the lives of military connected families.
This list is not exhaustive but will provide anyone within the military community a place to start when the challenges of a military connected life start to creep in. At TELL, we pride ourselves on understanding the unique challenges faced by this population and offer specialized care to address the specific needs related to grief, loss, depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, relationship dynamics and divorce, and navigating crisis after crisis alongside our clients. Our war fighters are only as strong as those they leave behind. It is those resilient and strong partners and families that we wish to honor and appreciate during this year’s Military Spouse Appreciation Day and Military Appreciation Month.
We see you, we honor you and we support you always!