A community can be defined as “the people living in one particular area or people who are considered as a unit because of their common interests, social group, or nationality”. Communities can be based in our school or workplace, in our local neighbourhood, can spring from our interests or beliefs, and may be based online or in real life.
In our lives, most of us look to find connection and a sense of belonging through the communities we create or participate in. The desire to connect is literally wired into us, with a set of structures in the brain called the “social brain network”. Feeling part of a community also has many potential benefits. It can positively impact our mental and physical health, provide us with a sense of belonging and identity and in even more practical terms, can aid us professionally and economically, providing us with a wider social network and therefore more possible opportunities and connections.
There are many different types of communities and we may choose to connect in different ways for different activities. Additionally, how we can connect may also vary throughout our lives. People debate the merits and disadvantages of online vs in person connections, and online communities can be criticised as less “real” or not as significant as in person relationships. While different studies have come to a variety of conclusions on this point, in general, one type of connection is not technically “better” than the other, rather they are just different. Online connections allow us to connect with a wider range of people with different views and interests than just those we can physically reach. They also allow those of us living overseas to maintain connections with friends and family back “home”, and also permit us to continue to pursue interests or study that we cannot access or do not feel confident to undertake in a second or third language. Our ability to participate in communities may also be affected by factors like finances, location, language, our health and mobility, our responsibilities and the time we can be available, to name just a few.
Some possible ways to find a new community could include:
- Join a group for something that interests you
- There can be lots of ways to find groups that could be a good fit, searching online, using websites like Meetup, checking the notice boards and flyers in your ward office or city hall, community centre, sports centre, school etc. Seen someone carrying a tennis racket and you’re dying to play too? Ask them where they are headed!
- Start a group for something you’re interested in
- If you can’t find an existing group that matches your interests or needs, maybe start your own?
- Try things that you enjoyed doing as a child
- It can be easy to start just following a routine or feel stuck in a rut. Thinking back on the things we loved doing as children, the hobbies we felt passionate about or enthralled by can be a good jumping off point to rekindle new interests and find a way to make new connections and community in our adult lives.
- Learn something new or polish up a skill
- Learning something new can be a great way to build new skills, develop our existing talents, and feel inspired and fulfilled. Academic interests, creative pursuits, joining an orchestra or choir, doing a language exchange or taking classes can be a way to connect with other people who share the same interests and even connect us to new fields of opportunity.
- Volunteer for an event, group or organisation that you are interested in or think is meaningful
- Volunteering with a group or organisation is a way we can make a positive difference to people’s lives. It can also improve our self-esteem, confidence and wellbeing, be a way to gain invaluable work experience, receive training and develop new skills, meet new people from a range of backgrounds, while making a meaningful difference to the lives of others.
- Join a church or spiritual community
- Being part of a religious or spiritual community can provide structure, support and a sense of acceptance, all of which are beneficial to mental health.
- Find a support group
- It is not always easy to share how we are feeling with the people in our lives. We can worry about how they might respond, fear we could worry them or be a burden to them. Joining a support group can be a really positive space to talk about what we are experiencing, connect with others, feel less alone and access additional resources.
- Join a professional networking event or group
- Professional networking offers numerous benefits, including career advancement, access to new opportunities, and enhanced career development. It can also foster new relationships, build confidence, and provide access to valuable advice. Networking can lead to job opportunities, mentorship, and a stronger professional profile.
- Attend community events
- There may be opportunities to find community in our local neighbourhood. Making connections with the people nearby can be helpful in establishing roots, feeling less isolated, and in helping us feel we belong.
- Connect with your local community, whether that be based in your neighbourhood, school, workplace, etc
- There may be opportunities to pursue our interests through activities that are organised by our workplace or school. Maybe there is a sports team, a charity event we can join, a book club or a choir? Maybe there are discounted memberships for gyms or to attend yoga classes. It can be worthwhile asking around to see what is on offer, or even, what people might like to join if someone were to start something up!
However much we may want to find a community where we can connect and enjoy time with others, it is definitely not always easy. Trying new activities and meeting new people can be really daunting. How we feel about taking these steps will depend on things like our personality, past experiences, how many times we have had to pick up and rebuild friendships and connections previously, and the emotional energy we have available at the time. It can take time to find something that is the right fit for us, and there is no shame in testing out a range of groups and activities to see how they go.
Be kind to yourself. If you plan to try something new and then lose your nerve to attend that time, it’s okay, you can always try again another day. Join a group and it doesn’t feel like the right fit? Totally fine. It might be possible to search for another group that works better for you. Thought that you would love pottery, Zumba or meditation but discovered it’s just not your talent? Keep going if you want to, we don’t have to be good at everything and if the process itself is fun, (even if the end product is less stellar than you would have liked), then there is value in this anyway! If you don’t enjoy the activity or group you have made time for, or you used to enjoy it but don’t any more, then it’s 100% okay to quit!
Communities and the activities where we choose to spend our time may not always be perfect, but they definitely should not be an unpleasant emotional and mental drain. Spending time with others and finding our “place” can really enrich our lives. There can be real value in finding things we enjoy and finding spaces we feel we truly belong!